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 Roads
We Choose
A farmer’s horse ran
away.
The neighbor said, Isn’t
it awful? A farmer said, Maybe.
Next day the horse came back
and brought ten wild horses with it.
The neighbor said, Isn’t
wonderful? A farmer said, Maybe.
His son tried to ride a wild
horse and broke his leg.
The neighbor said, Isn’t
it awful? A farmer said, Maybe.
In ten days recruiters came
for conscription and rejected his son.
The neighbor said, Isn’t
wonderful? A farmer said, Maybe.
– French Fable
Growing up in a loving family, I was married very young.
I taught Physics in college in Moscow. My genius scientist husband
and I were too involved in our careers and gave little time to our
daughter. I managed to teach our pretty girl many things - poems,
logic, to make decisions, carry a latchkey, be able to defend herself
from anti-Semitic bullies.
People said, Isn’t it wonderful? This child is so independent
I would say, Maybe. Maybe, it would be better, if I spent
more time with her.
Time passed and my daughter, 18 then, and I were ready to leave
Russia a God forsaken backward country. For my husband to stay or
to leave bore equal fear, he preferred the known fright to the uncertainty.
We divorced, and I applied for an exit visa.
People said, Is this woman brave to leave for such a journey without
a man?
I would say, Maybe. Maybe, it was just light-mindedness
and subconscious craving for adventure.
After three years of calamity in limbo, on a cold December day in
1980 at the Moscow airport, euphoria of anticipation burned the
connection with our first life.
People said, Isn’t it awfully sad to leave places of life-long
attachment?
I would say, Maybe. Maybe it was just a move to another
frame of reference. Joy and sorrow lie in us and are independent
of where we live.
We have landed in J.F.K. and began to learn
who we were and who we are.
Now, I am a Jew by choice and conviction,
like Ruth in her final journey with Naomi,
when she chose her Jewish future and ours.
My daughter received her Master Degree’s in Music, became
a performing pianist and composer, and now lives in New York City.
I am retired from computer programming and live in a cozy house
in New Jersey and write poetry. I was and am happy to find my Jewishness.
People said, Isn’t it wonderful that those two independent
women achieved so much?
I would say, Maybe. Maybe it would be better if I had found my Jewishness
not here but in Israel?
-
Natalia Zaretsky
CLICK
HERE to read an interview with Natalia Zaretsky
by Miriam Stanley, Senior Editor of Rogue Scholars Press
(August 2004).
CLICK
HERE to read a Neighbor News article by Lisa Kintish (December
2004).
CLICK
HERE to read an interview by Julie Gallagher of Releasing
Times, Journal of Women 50's and 60's (March 2006).
CLICK
HERE to read an interview by Cervena Barva Pess (March
2006).
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